- As a young child my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out the police call this “Identity Theft.”
- Once in awhile someone amazing comes along, and here I am!
- I was cooking supper with wine tonight. Didn’t go so well. . . After 5 glasses I forgot why I was even in the kitchen.
- Where do I find the forms to become an Illegal Alien? I could sure use the benefits!!!
- Worrying is a waste of time. It doesn’t change anything. It messes with your mind and steals your happiness.
- My friend thinks he’s smart, he said onions are the only food that can make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.
- Life has no remote. Get up and change it yourself!