I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they do today.
I’m not a real movie star. I’ve still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
I’m a study of a man in chaos in search of frenzy.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m schizophrenic, and so am I.
I don’t drink. I don’t like it. It makes me feel good.
Well we have one week until the election. Since this has been one of the most interesting elections I have seen in many years I am going to be very bored after next week. I have 2 of my blogs I dedicate to pro conservative / anti liberal and now I have to repurpose them for the next 4 years. And Twitter and Facebook. . . there will not be much to retweet and share so I guess for the next 4 years we will be inundated with cute cat pictures. . . . I would run away and join a circus but I can’t fit into that little clown car anymore.
I have noticed that the animal lovers in the family periodically say they don’t like to eat meat and lament about becoming a vegetarian. However these same people when buying dog or cat food always make sure that “real meat” is in the bag.
When shopping in the grocery store there is no sign for toilet paper; it is always labeled “Bath Tissue”. Now who in their right mind when getting into the shower would grab a roll of “Bath Tissue”? You can’t wash or dry with it, it would fall apart and be totally useless.
There are times when listening to music I always think to myself that the music from long ago had more meaning and better lyrics etc. However it is about then that I hear songs with lyrics like “ram a lama ding dong” or “alley oop boop”, “I’m shaking like a man on a fuzzy tree” and then there is return to sender; now when have you ever been able to mail a letter and have it returned the very next day – turn around on that would probably be about 5 or 6 days minimum.
@ChrchCurmudgeon Mar 28
Do King James Only churches post their sermons on ThouTube?
@ChrchCurmudgeon 24h24 hours ago
Scandal at the National Amateur Handbell Choir Tournament. Looks like the winning team hired a couple of ringers.
@ChrchCurmudgeon Jun 8
If Trump would just identify as a woman, we’d have the perfect storm.
@ChrchCurmudgeon Jun 7
On the positive side, they’ve discovered a new perpetual energy source: All the founding fathers spinning in their graves.
@ChrchCurmudgeon Jun 6
First day of VBS, and I got 3 kids to rededicate themselves to staying off the lawn.
@ChrchCurmudgeon Jun 2
This election is pretty much proof that someone went back a million years in a time machine and stepped on a butterfly.
@ChrchCurmudgeon Jun 2
Lady next door uses a 24-hour lawn service. Doesn’t bother me, except when . . . In the midnight hour, she cries, “Mow, mow, mow!”
When you come to a fork in the road, take it
We made too many wrong mistakes.
You can observe a lot by watching.
The future ain’t what it used to be.
Nobody goes there anymore; it’s too crowded.
You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you are going, because you might not get there.
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.
A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.
How can you think and hit at the same time?
I tell the kids, somebody’s gotta win, somebody’s gotta lose. Just don’t fight about it. Just try to get better.
Even Napoleon had his Watergate.
It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much.
It ain’t the heat, it’s the humility.
You don’t have to swing hard to hit a home run. If you got the timing, it’ll go.
He also said “I didn’t say all the things I said”
Saw this in an email newsletter I get.
*Children’s Attempts at Singing Well Known Hymns*
Sometimes kids get things a little……well, maybe these came from kids:
– Give us this day our deli bread!
– Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Whole East Coast.
– We shall come to Joyce’s, bringing in the cheese.
– Gladly, the consecrated, cross-eyed bear.
– He carrots for you.
– Bringing in the sheets.
– Yield not to Penn Station.
– Dust around the throne.
– Praise God from whom all blessings flow, Praise Him all creatures, HERE WE GO
– While shepherds washed their socks by night
– He socked me and boxed me with His redeeming glove.