Another short post. I believe that God does have a sense of humor, how else can you explain zebras? And there is this: God gave me a love of music of all kinds and there is very little that I don’t listen to (there are exceptions and they are Rap music and Opera); I love music that I find on YouTube that is older than I am and a lot of music by folks that I have never heard of. (the other shoe dropping) however God did not give me any talent to play an instrument or to sing – yep my singing voice is terrible but I still sing if the right song is playing (Under the Boardwalk by the Drifters is one of them).
Remember Slow Food?
‘Someone asked the other day, ‘What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?’
‘We didn’t have fast food when I was growing up,
I informed him.
‘All the food was slow.’
‘C’mon, seriously. Where did you eat?’
‘It was a place called ‘at
Home,” I explained. !
‘Mom cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn’t like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.’
By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn’t tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table.
But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it :
Some parents NEVER owned their own house, never wore Levi’s, never set foot on a golf course, never traveled out of the country or had a credit card.
In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears & Roebuck.
Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died
My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer.
I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow)
We didn’t have a television in our house until I was 11.
It was, of course, black and white, and the station went off the air at midnight, after playing the national anthem and a poem about God; it came back on the air at about 6 a.m. And there was usually a locally produced news and farm show on, featuring local people.
I was 19 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called ‘pizza pie.’ When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It’s still the best pizza I ever had.
I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn’t know weren’t already using the line.
Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But milk was.
All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers–my brother delivered a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which he got to keep 2 cents. He had to get up at 6 AM every morning.
On Saturday, he had to collect the 42 cents from his customers. His favorite customers were the ones who gave him 50 cents and told him to keep the change. His least favorite customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on collection day.
Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. There were no movie ratings because all movies were responsibly produced for everyone to enjoy viewing, without profanity or violence or most anything offensive.
If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren
Just don’t blame me if they bust a gut laughing.
Growing up isn’t what it used to be, is it?
MEMORIES from a friend :
My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother’s house (she died in December) and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it. I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to ‘sprinkle’ clothes with because we didn’t have steam irons. Man, I am old.
How many do you remember?
Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.
Ignition switches on the dashboard.
Heaters mounted on the inside of the fire wall.
Real ice boxes.
Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards.
Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner.
Using hand signals for cars without turn signals.
Older Than Dirt Quiz :
Count all the ones that you remember not the ones you were told about. Ratings at the bottom.
1. Blackjack chewing gum
2. Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water
3. Candy cigarettes
4. Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles
5 Coffee shops or diners with table side jukeboxes
6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers
7. Party lines on the telephone
8 Newsreels before the movie
9. P.F. Flyers
10. Butch wax
11.. TV test patterns that came on at night after the last show and were there until TV shows started again in the morning. (there were only 3 channels…[if you were fortunate)
13. Howdy Doody
14. 45 RPM records
15.S&H green stamps
17. Metal ice trays with lever
18. Mimeograph paper
19. Blue flashbulb
21. Roller skate keys
25. Wash tub wringers
If you remembered 0-5 = You’re still young
If you remembered 6-10 = You are getting older
If you remembered 11-15 = Don’t tell your age,
If you remembered 16-25 = You’ re older than dirt!
I might be older than dirt but those memories are some of the best parts of my life.
Don’t forget to pass this along!!
Especially to all your really good
I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they do today.
I’m not a real movie star. I’ve still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
I’m a study of a man in chaos in search of frenzy.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m schizophrenic, and so am I.
I don’t drink. I don’t like it. It makes me feel good.
@ChrchCurmudgeon Mar 28
Do King James Only churches post their sermons on ThouTube?
@ChrchCurmudgeon 24h24 hours ago
Scandal at the National Amateur Handbell Choir Tournament. Looks like the winning team hired a couple of ringers.
@ChrchCurmudgeon Jun 8
If Trump would just identify as a woman, we’d have the perfect storm.
@ChrchCurmudgeon Jun 7
On the positive side, they’ve discovered a new perpetual energy source: All the founding fathers spinning in their graves.
@ChrchCurmudgeon Jun 6
First day of VBS, and I got 3 kids to rededicate themselves to staying off the lawn.
@ChrchCurmudgeon Jun 2
This election is pretty much proof that someone went back a million years in a time machine and stepped on a butterfly.
@ChrchCurmudgeon Jun 2
Lady next door uses a 24-hour lawn service. Doesn’t bother me, except when . . . In the midnight hour, she cries, “Mow, mow, mow!”
When you come to a fork in the road, take it
We made too many wrong mistakes.
You can observe a lot by watching.
The future ain’t what it used to be.
Nobody goes there anymore; it’s too crowded.
You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you are going, because you might not get there.
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.
A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.
How can you think and hit at the same time?
I tell the kids, somebody’s gotta win, somebody’s gotta lose. Just don’t fight about it. Just try to get better.
Even Napoleon had his Watergate.
It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much.
It ain’t the heat, it’s the humility.
You don’t have to swing hard to hit a home run. If you got the timing, it’ll go.
He also said “I didn’t say all the things I said”
Saw this in an email newsletter I get.
*Children’s Attempts at Singing Well Known Hymns*
Sometimes kids get things a little……well, maybe these came from kids:
– Give us this day our deli bread!
– Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Whole East Coast.
– We shall come to Joyce’s, bringing in the cheese.
– Gladly, the consecrated, cross-eyed bear.
– He carrots for you.
– Bringing in the sheets.
– Yield not to Penn Station.
– Dust around the throne.
– Praise God from whom all blessings flow, Praise Him all creatures, HERE WE GO
– While shepherds washed their socks by night
– He socked me and boxed me with His redeeming glove.
– It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.
– A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
– If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
– Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
– It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts – your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
– When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
– No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
– Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
– When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other. If they’re villains, they will probably speak with an English accent.
– You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
– Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it’s the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
– An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.
– Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.